Indestructable?

Unlike a certain Paul Metcalfe a.k.a. Captain Scarlet I am fully aware of my mortality, my mortalness. But if you know me then you'll also know I don't dwell on the big stuff (conquest, war, famine, death), instead I tend to get bogged down in the weeds of triviality and nonsense: my obsession with all things 70s and this blog, 'Are We There Yet?', for example, being perfect distractions from a lot of the heavier (darker, even) stuff that may or may not be lurking around the next corner. But pretty soon I am going to have to address something pretty big, something even more important than much of what lies in the left hand margin of this blog. I'll leave it at that for now. It is the weekend after all and the sun is shinning; let's not bring the mood down. At least not today.

...

And it was only today I learned that Ray Davies name-checks Captain Scarlet on the Village Green Preservation Society album. I must have known that before. Mustn't I?

The Kinks - Daylight (1968)

My Life in 10 Objects (#1)

I've been listening to recent reruns of the excellent Radio 4 series A History of the World in 100 Objects. It's a history of humanity through a myriad of man made objects of ancient art, industry, technology, and arms dating back to 9000BC. This amazing programme is presented by Neil McGregor from the British Museum who curates an incredible collection, and pulls in priceless artefacts as diverse as Hoa Hakananai's Easer Island Statue, relics from the Byzantine Empire, Moche warrior pots and a Japanese bronze mirror from the 12th century. A truly epic series broken down into one hundred 15 minute nuggets. Absolutely riveting. I can't recommend it highly enough.

I only wish I could say the same for this new mini series of my own. My Life in 10 Objects is, I've got to be honest with you, far from riveting. Seriously; I don't even know how I have the temerity to even mention the Director of the British Museum in the same sentence as this cheapskate version of Mr. McGregor's award winning series that took four years to research. But, hey, what are you gonna do?

My life on this planet, such that it is, has seen men walk on the moon, the Beatles, punk rock and more internet porn than you can shake a shitty stick at. So how does a child of the 60s condense nearly six decades of love, life and happiness (mostly) into a clutch of objects that probably wouldn't even fill an average size suitcase? Good question. The items I have chosen are a hotchpotch of the everyday mingled with stuff that I turn to only occasionally but are every bit as poignant/important to me. And no, I haven't got anything in there as mundane as my car (or even my car keys) or my phone or my favourite winter coat; though my list of also rans at the end of the series that didn't quite make the cut will include, I'm sure, all sorts of flotsam and jetsam that help make up my dodgy DNA.

Today's inaugural offering is an item that despite me knowing exactly where in the house it resides, I tend to only seek it out when I allow my mind to wander; specifically when it wanders back to one of my earliest exposures to television. So between Watch with Mother (when I'd be around five) and Doctor Who (I was all of seven when I first encountered Patrick Troughton) came Captain Scarlet. Quite how the colours of all the characters who worked for Spectrum were ever conveyed through the medium of a black and white telly is something of a mystery, but as a very impressionable six year old I'm convinced I could see that Captain Scarlet was indeed wearing a shiny red uniform and that Captain Blue's was, er, blue. It must have had something to do with all the merchandise around at the time - TV21 comics, action figures and the like.

Pride of place in my 1967 bedroom, however, was given over to a Spectrum wallet. Pictured here you can see it came in a striking scarlet livery and, most importantly, contained a driving licence (a full ten years before I got behind the wheel of my Vauxhall Viva), permitting me to drive both a Spectrum Patrol Car (the sporty red one) and a Spectrum Pursuit Vehicle (SPV - the one you drove whilst facing backwards). I probably wasn't cognisant of the fact that opportunities to drive such vehicles in Kingston-upon-Hull in the mid-1960s were few and far between; but that didn't shake the notion in my mind that I could walk into a back street petrol station, show my licence to the owner who would then point me in the direction of a dilapidated out building wherein would be parked one of the above mentioned vehicles. Equally important information was contained within this magical document too: a short Bio of each spectrum member beneath a passport style photo. Scarlet, for instance, was actually Paul Metcalfe in real life; not surprisingly he hasn't even been born yet - his date of birth is given as December 17, 2036 in Winchester, England.

Funnily enough I've dug this wallet out more times during the last three months than I have my 'real' wallet; it still contains the same tenner in there and trusty pieces of plastic that I went into lockdown with.
The woman in the spine must have finished that book by now.

Captain Scarlett*

*Two Ts on the Scarlett

My great niece Scarlett, 4, is something of a TV star. She's currently the face of Channel 4's 'Old People's Home for Four Year Olds'. Scarlett lost her mother last year to cancer and is currently finding new friends in all sorts of places - Old People's Homes, ITV studios - even Eamonn Holmes wants to be her friend.

Her father Tim, who also doubles up as Nottingham's Robin Hood, is doing a fabulous job of bringing her up on his own. And through the sadness, as well as keeping the memory of Scarlett's mum, Sally, alive, Tim is keen for her to appreciate just how special Gerry Anderson was, not least his 1967 creation, and Scarlett's namesake. 

Pulling rank

Someone else is pulling his strings

                       
                        * Penchant for lead piping: 2%

                        * Fear of Mysterons: 100%

                        * Mistaken for Nick Lowe: 77%

                        * Getting jiggy in the Drawing Room: 4%

                        * Eponymous pub in Leeds: 0%

                        * Scoring Lady Penelope's phone number: 99%

His head sits atop a pawn

 * Penchant for lead piping: 98%

 * Fear of Mysterons: 1%

 * Mistaken for Nick Lowe: 0%

 * Getting jiggy in the Drawing Room: 100%

 * Eponymous pub in Leeds: 99%

 * Scoring Lady Penelope's phone number: 3%

Ahead of his time

 Lieutenant Green: minus 29 today

Lt. Green. Born January 18th., 2041, Port of Spain, Trinidad. Unmarried - real name Seymour Griffiths. British Subject.

The severely underrated Barry Gray and his deft scores complimented Gerry Anderson's world of Supermarionation perfectly. This piece is no exception; I'd be very surprised if funkmeisters such as Craig Charles, those fine people at Blow Up or Mondo haven't played this to death at sometime or other. 

Barry Gray: White As Snow
 

Mark Saber

I'd never heard of Mark Saber until very recently. Saber was a one armed private eye who spoke in that clipped English accent you always heard on the BBC during the post-war years and beyond. He was actually played by a South African actor by the name of Donald Gray (who had lost an arm during WW2) and Saber (later Saber of London) ran for 155 episodes in the UK from 1955-1961.



But it is for Captain Scarlet that Gray is probably best known - he was the voice of both Colonel White and Captain Black and The Mysterons. Like fellow actors Francis Matthews, Ed Bishop and Cy Grant (Captain Scarlet, Captain Blue and Lieutenant Green respectively) two weeks of instantly forgettable voice-over work in 1967 for Gerry Anderson would live with them for the rest of their lives. Although Gray died in 1978, according to my Spectrum passport, Colonel White hasn't even been born yet! Charles Gray (coincidentally the name Donald Gray would adopt later in his acting career) will be born July 14 2017 in London!

Stick around.