If I ever found myself going off the grid or having to enter the witness protection program and in need of a new identity, then I think I'm sorted. If I ever needed a moody passport or a nom de plume to check-in to a hotel under the radar, I've got this. Alas, John Smith won't cut it I'm afraid. There is only one moniker that would look good on a fake driver's licence or first class air ticket.
I am Hiram K. Hackenbacker. And no, I don't know what the K stands for.