Reasons to be fearful: 1-2-3

1. China

2. China

3. China

Engaging

Relations between Ireland and the Netherlands are set to reach an all time high as news of an impending bilateral treaty between the two countries was leaked earlier this week. Both parties are said to be delighted and are currently 'holding talks' behind closed doors.

I'm led to believe an official statement will follow shortly.

Two for joy

Comely

I namecheck Jenny Hanley in my latest song. She just popped into my head one day. At a time when the female of the species started to loom large in my life, I knew that despite her noble efforts to try and look like the girl next door, she had a past: Hanley had been both a Bond girl and played comely wenches in Hammer Horrors. All a far cry from her cuddly teatime telly image on Magpie.

Bovver

West Ham Utd are, it would appear, in a spot of bother: problems on the field, and just as many off. There is something perversely just that the east London club's owners have, in their money grubbing haste to flee their spiritual home at Upton Park, brought The Hammers into the 21st. century and, yet, at the same time, dragged them back to the dark days of street fighting hooliganism made (in)famous in the 1970s.



When will those in charge of this now morally bankrupt game get it into their thick skulls that fans don't want to watch their team play in some soulless athletic stadium with a running track around the pitch? Gone is the very notion of touch line seating, and giving the opposition's left half the benefit of your opinion as he's about to take a corner kick. And something tells me that getting a cup of Bovril at halftime time is probably not an option

No wonder then that disgruntled supporters would rather rip up their (not so cheap) seats and knock seven bells out of the visitors than watch the game through a pair of binoculars.What would Bobby Moore think? Or Clyde Best? And where's Alf bleedin' Garnett when you need him?

Dum spiro, spero

Take it slowly

And hold fast

Just remember

Hope dies last