75BC

Billy Connolly will be 75 in November. As part of his upcoming birthday celebrations, three acclaimed Scottish artists were commissioned to capture the Big Yin's likeness and present Billy with their unique portraits.

Jack Vettriano

BBC Scotland have made a beautiful and touching programme recording Billy's return to his native Glasgow where, through a series of his memories, archive footage and present day travelogue, Glasgow and Billy were shown very much in the here and now. Although both city and comedian have improved with age, Connolly now suffers with Parkinson's: his mind is still as sharp as a tack, but these days, during his (still impeccable) stand up shows, his once animated self is now similar to that of a 78 record playing at 33.

John Byrne

And the love the man generates, not just from the artists - John Byrne, Jack Vettriano and Rachel MacLean - but his audiences and the Glaswegians on the streets, is nothing short of discipleship. This sort of adoration is usually only afforded to the recently deceased.

Rachel MacLean

Finally, after Billy was given his works of art, there was still one more birthday surprise in store.

Unbeknownst to BC each of the portraits had been blown up to 50 feet high and granted mural status in three locations in the city.

Watch the programme yourself to see the great man's reaction - it's up on the iPlayer until 4 September. You'll be glad you did, believe me.

Gallowgate, near Barrowland Park

Old Wynd, off Osborne Street

Dixon Street, near St. Enoch Square

Hot

Jack Vettriano is no Hopper. But then again he'd be the first to tell you that. And his work may well be panned by serious art critics (whoever the hell they are); indeed his portrayal of women has been portrayed as crass soft porn. Come on, really?
But when I was looking for an image that summed up just how bloody hot it was today, I didn't have to look further than Vettriano's Heatwave.


And a big thank you to the young lady who joined me for a couple of dust-cutters this evening. Here's to a long hot summer; cue the Style Council.

Imaginary girlfriend

Do you recognise the girl above? Would you be able to pick her out in an identity parade? Chances are that even if you couldn't your parents almost certainly would be able to tap her on the shoulder; though they probably wouldn't know what she was called.

Tina, her given name, was as ubiquitous as flock wallpaper in households during the 60s and beyond. She took pride of place, clutching that tree for dear life, above many a mantle up and down the land. Art? Sort of. Wall decoration? Most certainly.

She was the brainchild of artist J H Lynch who would conjure up these nymph photofits and fill a whole canvas with a pretty face, cascading hair and bare shoulders. Always on the right side of the prevailing decency and moral codes of the day, Lynch had discovered a winning formula and he stuck to it. These days Jack Vettriano ploughs a similar furrow.