Reasonable

Green sleeves (and blue & red)

The Woodlands Gallery is fast approaching its first anniversary. It may not be have the same kudos as that afforded to The Tate or, indeed, The Metropolitan, but it works for me.

And it's not too late for a Christmas commission. You can get in touch via all the usual outlets. I think you'll find me very reasonable. I hope so, anyway; I'd be offended if you didn't.

That's right, Vision On's Gallery music

She lies sleeping in a half filled bed of rice

Dodgy: Fibbers, York

* The new Fibbers p*sses all over the old Fibbers

* I bet Paul McCartney wishes he'd written So Let Me Go Far

* Matthew Priest is Brian Blessed

* They got them dancing down the front - I love to see women *point* when they dance

* Some real toe tappers on the new album - promised Easter 2016

* Grassman really is a nineties song

* The sign of a good gig - when you can't believe they're introducing the last song already

* Who knew my honorary Goddaughter would be there tonight? Hugs and kisses were the order of the day. Amanda would only have been eight when Staying Out For The Summer came out

* In A Room - home of the best misheard line in pop, ever

Godfather

I became an honorary Godfather earlier this year. Not in a Tony Soprano way, I hasten to add, more in a wise old uncle sort of way. Amanda Jane is a beautiful young thing: she's bright and she's bubbly and she makes me laugh. I think I make her laugh too. It's good to laugh.

It's Amanda's birthday in a couple of days and she's having a party tomorrow. From what I can gather it's Friends and close family only.

Just nipping down to the dry-cleaners to collect my Tux.

Snazzy

Last night I was paid a rare compliment: 'You look snazzy.' I blame my shirt.

Just for the record it didn't happen at a funeral, but, when my time comes I would like the s word on my headstone.

Thank you to the good people at The System for the graphics.

Cold Comfort

Don't be fooled by the above photograph. Ice cream has a dark side. And I'm not talking about the side effects of eating it whilst simultaneously drinking cups of blisteringly hot tea -  a pastime reserved for lunatics and nutjobs. No, ice cream can be sinister. And if you don't believe me take a look at this clip from Bill Forsyth's Comfort and Joy. Warning: contains moderate Scottish accents and mild peril. Not to mention blood raspberry essence.